I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
