she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
