so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
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