I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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