Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
