You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
