i just google imaged poop.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
