): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
