what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
