is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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