Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
