Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
