she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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