By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
