We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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