No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
