Are we in a gay sports bar?
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
