Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
oh god the rape fog is back!
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize