Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize