So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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