she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Just pee around me
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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