stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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