I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
He told me they were just razor bumps!
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
