A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
