i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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