Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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