Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I have fence marks all over my body
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