He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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