get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
