Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
thus making me awesome and them whores
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
