Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
