For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I did not marry a roomba.
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