I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
