Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
