uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize