OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
