the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
