I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
