Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
