We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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