so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
i drank out of a bidet.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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