I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
