I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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