the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
