the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
She needs sedatives and a leash
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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