She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize