you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
