i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
