I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
