I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
