can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
