Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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