And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
