Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Randomize
