Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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