so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
how drunk are you?
Several
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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