I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
