She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize