also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
