i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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